So, guess what?! There is only 10 days until Christmas! I am so excited! I love the holiday cheer and the yummy food my mama makes. It's gonna be so much fun.

As for art, I am still tinkering in CS4. Some people here on DA don't like my signatures, banners, alias cars and wallpapers so I don't update often with those. I have been editing a lot of my drawings or just re-drawing them in general. So it's just doodling for the most part in that aspect.

Leading up to the big news here for some of my friends, mainly Eriku because he's the only one that really cares, I will be starting counseling sometime after Christmas. I just have been having a lot of issues lately and I need to get some help. It took my mom crying for me to realize I really am depressed. I have been having my good and bad days lately. I think what really pushed me over too is when I had to get rid of my dog. She was the only friend I had physically and made me not feel I was alone all the time. But, now that my mom is butting in, which I am glad she is, I have some things I have to do to get myself back up on my feet. But don't worry! I am not that emo, "oh please hang me" depressed. I have to much in this life time to just throw it all away.

I think that's all I have to say for now.. Yup, that's it!

Peace&Love

Sammy

So.. my "best friend" Beth, started her crap with me at 1:30 this morning when I cuddled happily under my blankets and just about asleep until I heard my phone go off. She was going on about how she is tierd of texting me to get no response. Then don't friggin' text me! I never respond to her because just seeing her name agitates me for some reason. All the crap that has happened between use has ripped a hole in our friendship and I finished the rip this morning. Beth then continued on how, now let me remind you all, I never said this nor do I feel it because I don't care, that I feel like I have been replaced by her boyfriend. I could give to flying ducks to be honest. She went on how I have always lied to her, went behind her back talked crap about her. Why would I waste my breath on a skank like her? Really now. The stupid whore continued saying that my absolute best friend, Erik, has said shit to her about me. I know for a fact that he wouldn't do anything like that to me. I have NEVER done that to him. Yea, after our spat back in July, I called him a few bad names, and I know you're reading this Erik, but that was the extent of it. Even though I was so pissed off at him during that time, I still never had the heart to start any sort of "rumor" about him. Nor would I start any about anyone period. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not that type of person. I am a "keep to yourself" kind of girl most of the time. If anything involves my close friends, then it becomes my problem. Other than that, leave me out of it because drama is just a waste of time.

Well, adding this to my period of depression, I miss my Sparkles like crazy. Having my mom tell me last night that she almost gave my cousin money to go to the SPCA to adopt her out for me, topped the cake. I started crying even more because I keep thinking my cat Jake is Sparkles. I keep thinking she is in bed with me at night, all cuddled up at my feet.

On a little bit of a lighter not, we're getting our Xmas tree on saturday. We get to make it all pretty on sunday after it settles. I'm rather excited because I haven't had a real Xmas tree in years. Aaand.. There is only 15 days until Xmas! My sisters and I have been doing our little "open the door, get a piece of chocolate Xmas Countdown" calenders. I'm 18 and I still love doing those. It's just a bit of a traditions.

On an art side, I think I'm slowly improving in Photoshop with a little help from a handful of friends and reading/watching tutorials. I need to learn how to blend my characters into the background and work on my text. Drawing isn't doing so well on the other hand. I still haven't been able to produce a full piece in weeks which makes me rather irritated.

My two forums are going okay. BSE is getting new members by the day. We're part of a directory so that is bound to happen. As for The Pulse, Von has left ME, yea ME, in charge until he returns due to his testing period I suppose. I doubt anything will happen in two weeks period but I agreed to keep an eye on things.

All in all, things are okay but then they're not. I want things to go back to being all happy and warm again. But I know that won't happen until Beth shuts up, I'm over this cold and the holidays are here.

Peace&Love

Sammy

So.. it was final. Yesterday, I had to take Sparkles to the SPCA. I was such a wreck. I still am. I know it was for the better. Her training was going so well and then we hit a rough patch. It took my mom over the edge for the final time. And well, it was time for her to go. I know she'll recieve a good home, all her training will be completed and she'll be a happy little puppy. I hope her new owners let her play out in the snow. She loves the snow. I've been cleaning my room and doing some cleansing, I guess. I feel a little relief but not much at all. The more and more I think about it, it was my fault. I should have tried harder.. But I guess it was to late to try again.

On a lighter note, Christmas is 18 days away! I'm rather excited about that. Things are very comfortable in the house now. Parents aren't arguing so much anymore and my sisters are just being themselves.

Art on the other hand is okay. I've been playing around in Photoshop, finding different brushes, etc. I haven't had the drive to really draw. Just doodle some here and there.

I've also been occupied with my two forums. The Pulse and Bloodstained Etiquette. I own BSE with one of my closes friends and I'm a global mod on The Pulse now. Unless Von changes his mind. I hope not, really. The PR Consultant spot was becoming to much. I'm having such a hard time finding people to join and stay active. So, if anyone is reading this, please send me a note or comment if you'd like to join either.

That is all for now. I'll probably update in a couple days or so.

Peace&Love

Sammy